tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post3899622642865342208..comments2023-05-02T04:56:02.477-07:00Comments on Chaotic Henchmen Productions: Publishing #2: Writing Style TipsGuy Fullertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12034114718540912559noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-67501626802787032832012-09-07T08:22:30.255-07:002012-09-07T08:22:30.255-07:00Applause!Applause!bombasticushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09570356997079883076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-39795023260246394682012-06-10T14:30:26.131-07:002012-06-10T14:30:26.131-07:00Fantastic! Thanks so much for posting this. I wish...Fantastic! Thanks so much for posting this. I wish every module author read this post and implemeneted it.<br /><br />As I'm in the middle of re-reading "The Elements of Style," this post resonated with me.Brenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09014351433814844942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-34978728423931016322012-06-10T00:46:23.573-07:002012-06-10T00:46:23.573-07:00I agree with a lot of these points, if not all of ...I agree with a lot of these points, if not all of them. Great post! <br /><br />I do however disagree that stating a room is empty and then proceeding to describe its contents is wrong or bad. In the context of D&D, "empty" just means no monsters or treasure, not that the room is truly empty.<br /><br />And as far as word counts go, adventure authors that get paid by the word are detrimental to my personal sanity, if not the hobby in general.Jeremy Deramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166744272459044563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-15011444829315545182012-05-29T00:12:37.622-07:002012-05-29T00:12:37.622-07:00"The description "The carrion crawler wi...<i>"The description "The carrion crawler will attack anyone who approaches the debris" tells me two things: one, it will attack approaching characters, and two, it won't attack if they don't. "The carrion crawler attacks anyone who approaches the debris" doesn't convey to me that it won't attack if they stay clear of the debris."</i><br /><br />I am writing in english. By my understanding of the literal and figurative meanings of words, this statement is untrue.<br /><br />"The carrion crawler will attack anyone who approaches the debris."<br /><br />Makes no claim, anywhere, at any point, what will happen if the characters <i>don't</i> approach the debris.<br /><br />It does increase your word count, and by virtue of their being more words to parse makes it more difficult to quickly grasp the meaning of the text.-Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02331863932906631618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-62083956128997978442012-05-28T12:32:45.573-07:002012-05-28T12:32:45.573-07:00As a DM, I want the adventure written to convey in...As a DM, I want the adventure written to convey information to me, not written for a novel.<br /><br />I find the use of "will" to actually be helpful in published adventures. I want everything described in a cause-and-effect, "if/then" statement. It's a whole lot easier to process on the fly. And I can scan and find that word easily. The description "The carrion crawler will attack anyone who approaches the debris" tells me two things: one, it will attack approaching characters, and two, it won't attack if they don't. "The carrion crawler attacks anyone who approaches the debris" doesn't convey to me that it won't attack if they stay clear of the debris.<br /><br />Same for "seems." It alerts me that the description is false. "The door holds well against the strongest shove" is what I would tell the players, but as a room description to the DM it is unnecessarily vague. It doesn't tell me if the door will open or not. Now I have to process even more written description to determine if this door can be opened.<br /><br />I don't want "evocative" writing when the purpose is to convey clear information I can find and use during a game. <br /><br />I would agree with your advice if you were talking about the boxed text that is read to the players. But I don't agree in regards to what is written for the DM.Mr. Preecehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08905636789126738292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-48541404197679404132012-05-18T06:49:54.140-07:002012-05-18T06:49:54.140-07:00The existence of philosophical objectivity is irre...The existence of philosophical objectivity is irrelevant to our conversation.<br /><br />You know what isn't an illusion?<br /><br />Poorly written modules.-Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02331863932906631618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-51677350125160907142012-05-17T14:31:43.157-07:002012-05-17T14:31:43.157-07:00Hey Greg, I agree with your point about my use of ...Hey Greg, I agree with your point about my use of the word "lie." I tend to overuse italics, and that certainly didn't help. Thanks for pointing it out; I changed it in a way that preserves the point, but doesn't poke so hard.<br /><br /><br />Writing isn't a formula, but many writing situations can benefit from decent guidelines. Like any other guidelines, writers should ignore them when the situation dictates. I included some "better" examples of explicit emptiness to illustrate that, yes, sometimes explicit emptiness is a fine way to describe an environment.<br /><br />In general, though, I bet 80%+ of explicit emptiness in modules is pointless clutter, and can be removed without negatively affecting the rest of the content. Let's do a sampling. Choose three modules, and we'll put my assertion to the test.Guy Fullertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12034114718540912559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-13393310228642132192012-05-17T13:31:23.593-07:002012-05-17T13:31:23.593-07:00Jeez, here I thought this was a post on writing bu...Jeez, here I thought this was a post on writing but instead it's high comedy!<br /><br />You need to read some philosophy of knowledge my friend. Objectivity is a social construction and doesn't exist.Kiltedyaksmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03462341093016199620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-8354330710886731322012-05-17T10:47:47.338-07:002012-05-17T10:47:47.338-07:00Sure!
Subjects and verbs must agree in quantity. ...Sure!<br /><br />Subjects and verbs must agree in quantity. <br /><br />"The dog chases the cat" is the objectively correct way to write the sentence. "The dog chase the cat." is <i>incorrect</i>. This is a rule that is followed for clear communication where one way is correct and another is incorrect. <br /><br />It has nothing to do with science or pseudo-science because there is no hypothesis. Just an objective rule of English.<br /><br />Other objective rules? <br />Passive voice is unengaging.<br />"To be" verbs are not evocative. <br />the word "will" is a space-waster when describing trigger-able actions. <br /><br />What did they teach you in English class? Didn't they grade your papers? Didn't they tell you objectively why you made the grade you did?-Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02331863932906631618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-35593017632565594662012-05-17T10:41:22.235-07:002012-05-17T10:41:22.235-07:00Writing might seem that way to you, but if you are...Writing might seem that way to you, but if you are trained in a humanities tradition it is most certainly not.<br /><br />Can you tell me how you "objectively" evaluate writing? That's the biggest piece of pseudo-scientific bullshit I've heard in along time.<br /><br />Please enlighten me.Greg Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08934958487613782595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-68015706541889130382012-05-17T06:39:14.798-07:002012-05-17T06:39:14.798-07:00@Kiltedyaksman
I can see no benefit.
'This r...@Kiltedyaksman<br /><br />I can see no benefit.<br /><br />'This room contains a sack of grain.'<br /><br />draws the most attention towards the thing in the room. <br /><br />Writing and communication <b>are</b> formula based. It's taught in schools. Certain techniques are objectively better at presenting information. There are rules and structure to writing.<br /><br />Guy is not presenting the argument that you have to write "You see a sack of grain in the floor." 50 times. In fact, he says the opposite. <br /><br />Also, I wish to point out that stating the room is empty and then immediately thereafter stating what it contains is technically a lie.-Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02331863932906631618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-85539013733881554822012-05-17T04:50:51.465-07:002012-05-17T04:50:51.465-07:00Guy, in my opinion writing room descriptions is no...Guy, in my opinion writing room descriptions is not a "formula" based exercise. This isn't Cookies & Cutters, nor should it be.<br /><br />In some instances highlighting a room as empty "except" for a thing often draws attention toward the thing. This can be useful as a referee slight of hand to draw attention away from other things.<br /><br />I don't have any issue with "You see a room with a sack of grain on the floor" but there's just no way, if I have 5 rooms like that in 50, that I'm writing the same damn thing every time. You are welcome to think differently.<br /><br />As an aside, and speaking of word choices, your selection of "lie" [italics yours] is decidedly regrettable and carries a rather negative connotation.Kiltedyaksmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03462341093016199620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-39694207656485216292012-05-16T17:22:11.936-07:002012-05-16T17:22:11.936-07:00How does that particular example of explicit empti...How does that particular example of explicit emptiness help the room description? Or help the reader assimilate or present the room description?Guy Fullertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12034114718540912559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735246686802984887.post-41759026719354257242012-05-16T15:56:47.625-07:002012-05-16T15:56:47.625-07:00Hi Guy,
That's a function of Rooms being gene...Hi Guy,<br /><br />That's a function of Rooms being generated randomly, at least in my case.<br /><br />I also believe there is absolutely nothing untoward in saying "This room is empty except for a sack of grain laying on the floor." Saying otherwise is highbrow bullshit, IMO.Kiltedyaksmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03462341093016199620noreply@blogger.com